Nietzsche
dreamingsquirel
from Friedrich Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil:

"The falseness of a judgment is to us not necessarily an objection to a judgment: it is here that our new language perhaps sounds strangest. The question is to what extend is it life-advancing, life-preserving, species-preserving, perhaps even species-breeding; and our fundamental tendency is to assert that the falsest judgments are the most indispensable to us, that without granting as true the fictions of logic, without measuring reality against the purely invented world of the unconditional and self-identical, without a continual falsification of the world by means of numbers, would be to renounce life. would be to deny life. To recognize untruth as a condition of life; that, to be sure, means to resist customary value-sentiments in a dangerous fashion; and a philosophy which ventures to do so places itself, by the act alone beyond good and evil."


This quote of Nietzche really took quite a few rereads to fathom the meaning behind it. But once I understood, I could only nod my head in agreement. In society, especially in this modern society, we are surrounded by myths, lies that we take as the norms, and then the norms becomes the truth. Very few people actually take the time to question the validity of their beliefs upon which they base their lives.... But to be honest there is no doubt in my mind that there are certain core "misbeliefs" that are so essential to the human race, so essential to the stability of the human mind, that even if you were to disprove them, very few people will be able to soak it up and accept it. Most humans would simply reject with all their might no matter how well a person could disassemble their false beliefs. Society gives them too much space to push it away, ignore it, and finally disregard it altogether. But I wonder by embracing those "misbeliefs" we are not stopping ourselves from progressing. I am not talking about the shallow progression of the changes in our world that has allowed a certain few to make their lives more comfortable by our fond inventions of better commodities. I am talking about the inner progression of the human mind and soul. Let's face it, the state of the human mind has no changed a single bit.... We still have incomprehensible fears and hatreds, and we are incredibly prideful. We're still so ignorant about this world and the universe but we prop up ourselves for the "discoveries" we've made as if we now know everything! A few thousand years ago we still had the luxury of our continuous push to change this world to how we want it to be. The size of our population has wiped that luxury away. Everything we do now has effects on each other and to this planet. It's too bad that we are so blinded by hubris to understand that, and we will definitely pay the price for this pride sooner or later....

(no subject)
dreamingsquirel
You Kiss Like a Woman
For you, kissing is a very personal act. It's all about making a connection.
You are somewhat picky about kissing, and a bad kiss can ruin the moment for you.

You prefer to take it slow with kissing. You find that attraction is strongest when it builds slowly.
Kissing is best when you already feel close to your partner. Kissing gets better with time.



errrr...well that's good to know... not that I already didn't know...I am definitely very picky about kissing.... if you can't kiss, me no want!!!


Anyway....human behavior never ceases to amaze me. I mean I've been missing my family like crazy, and when my sister finally comes to visit, all we do is fight. That's a serious reality check! heh....Besides that everything is going as planned....in a matter of weeks I will be on American land, specifically Californian..... I can't fucking wait!!! oh man..... 24-7 light, tv when I want to watch....everyday internet access....beautiful cold rains, grey murky glads with whispers of rays of light...and of course, most important, hear......

......I was typing that little thoughts when the computer crapped on me and closed off all the windows......


So, I been back in the states for a week now.....and I am sooo glad that I am back.... the thought of going back to Nigeria isn't going to be as hard as I think it will be....It was like coming back here reminded me, the purpose of me staying in Nigeria in the first place. I love Nigeria, it is the source of the blood that flows in my veins.....but it is not where my heart is..... Simply not the place where I want to spend the rest of my life... That's for sure....

Blah---
dreamingsquirel
Man, has it been forever since I posted or what?!! Jen, I just managed to read some of your most recent post....I think I will come back later down the week to post something about it....hey, question, remember that new email address that I made because yinjingshe@hotmail.com has been invaded by some cracked up virus??? Do you still have it...for goddamn it I've forgotten it!!! It's the one that has the name delfine/delphine in it. Anyway, about your posts....I can tell that you're really taking things step by step...and that what really counts Jen!! So GO JEN!!! Anyway, I shall try to make it to the cafe by the end of the week to see what's up......

Je t'aime!!!

3 months from now......
dreamingsquirel
3 months from now:

I would have lost 30 pounds......
I would have exercised at lest 3 times a week.....
I would have settled in school....
I would have figured out how to make money on when I am Nigeria....and save it....
Studied 3 chapters in my Japanese book....
Attempted to write in Live-journal once every week....
Write in my journal everyday.....

wow 14 weeks huh
dreamingsquirel
I can't believe it's been 14 weeks since I last posted....blah.....too long, not that I have much to say. It's incredible that I have all this clear thoughts that pass through my head, then when I am in front of the screen of the computer the thoughts are reduced to the image of blankness. Heh, life is crazy.....life will always be crazy....huh just had an idea.....ummm...let see..., first attempt in a long....long time, ten years in fact:



A sudden, crashing noise snaps Jordan awake. As she blinks away the blurriness of sleep, angry voices filters through her bedroom. Long used to the smashing noises and the angry voices that filled downstairs, she gets up and stumbles into her bathroom. The hurtful epithets that are being thrown around like poisoned darts to a relationship that has long since been dead, failed to passed through the detached haze that clung to Jordan as she took her bath and brushed her teeth. Stumbling back into her room, she pulled on the dark blue jeans, tank shirt, and a black over-sized jacket that was the staple to Jordan's everyday style. Finished dressing, she paused just long enough to grab her back bag, and slips out through her window, climbing down with a rope ladder that she had placed to avoid the mess downstairs that had become part of her everyday life. With a habitual nonchalance that irritates quite a few people, including the parents that Jordan no longer allows any influential effect in her life, she strolled down the street, hands in pocket, and without a single glance back to the emotional whirlwind of hate and bitterness that engulfs her family home.....


errrr....yeah....that it, wow, haven't exercised that brain muscle in a while....ouch...hehehe

Whatever Is on My Mind
dreamingsquirel
Well, Christmas day has come again, and it's been a bitter-sweet day. I got to see the faces of my family, talk to them and hear their voices. But it could have been any other day, except everybody was playing nice to each other. This has been a totally unsatisfactory year filled with lots of valuable life lessons. I wish, wish so hard that it had been filled rather with incredible amount of happy moments. But that was soo not the case. But, there are a few people and many a things I have been grateful for, despite what a disgusting year it has been. My Auntie Jane has been beyond incredible, she has taken me in her home, supported me, giving me place to stay. I have never been more grateful to have a roof over my head as the moment I reached the place where my auntie was staying. But the most important person, the number one person I am thank-full to is my best friend, my sister, Jennifer. I don't know how I would have survived without her. Always listening, always supporting, always giving her infuriating, but always useful suggestions. I don't know why God blessed me with such a friend, but I will always be grateful to him for arranging us to be roommates at Sonoma State, who knew who how deep this friendship will grow... So thank you, thank you, thank you.....and a Merry Christmas to you girl...love you....lots....

What My Stars says....uuuuuuu...
dreamingsquirel

Lets101 Quizzes - Fun quizzes for blog & myspace


Some Poetry
dreamingsquirel







It's been years since a I wrote a poem, so I'm rather rusty....I am not a poet so if it sucks, my sincerest apologies, but this was how my thoughts came out, so here it is:

A sigh escapes my lips,
As monotonous exhaustion
Cripples my soul.
My life, seemingly composed by
The same continuous song...
My Mind, dull
From lack of use,
I yearn
To move, to breathe, to think
As I desire...
So close and yet so far from comfort,
A tear trickles down into the
Swirling pool of Wishes,
Wishes...simply...to be... happy...

My Visual DNA
dreamingsquirel

The Number One
dreamingsquirel
My first post, and I have to say, this is a lot like having to walk in a room full of strangers and having to make a stirring speech that make them call your name over and over again. Hehehehe, well perhaps not soo much. It's rather interesting for me though, to find myself introducing myself to an online community, something that I have avoided for many years. Never say never, I guess. I am not to keen too this introduction thing, after all it is a rather pointless, gigantic task to sum yourself in just a few phrases that would, hopefully, not bore people to death. Which, also, gives no real indication on who the person is, which is again is beside the point. My interests has also been pointed out in my profile, so perhaps I will rehash that subject on a later date. So, I am just going to pick up from the last thing that occured in my life that had any impact whatsoever. My best friend, who got me into this livejournal world (her livejournal name is not_a_lamb, but I shall dub her Notty Lamb, cause she is a rather naughty girl) took me to see the movie Lars and the Real Girl, which was an awesome movie. The whole trailer made it look like a strange comedy film, but it ended being rather a touching, endearing film about love, and overcoming the walls that stops you from interacting with the world in the way that you would want to, the way that you would need to. The acting was top notch, there was not anyone in that movie that gave a weak performance. But the main brilliant star was Ryan Gosling, who supposedly has a penchant for a playing damaged characters, was really effective as Lars. Anyway, I would rather not give away anything too much about the movie. But I would definitely recommend going to see it to anyone. Go watch this, and you will remember that going to the movies is fun, and not the money-grapping scam that it has now become.

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